50 Shades of Baby… Just in time for Father’s Day!

HaHaHappy Father's Day...

HaHaHappy Father’s Day…

Dear Daddy…

Once upon a time,
My Mommy and Daddy drank too much wine.
Lucky for me, Daddy forgot to wear protection.
And it just so happens… my conception!

Life as they knew it, was never the same.
A force to be reckoned with.
Little Orange Crush IS my name.

It’s all about me and what I want to do.
Feed me.
Play with me.
Now clean my poo.

I want to go outside.
Now I want to go in.
Now back outside.
I don’t care if we’ve just been.

Pick me up.
Put me down.
Now change me again.
I’m smelling kinda brown.

I’m hungry.
I’m tired.
No wait, I’m wired.

I’m happy.
I’m sad.
I’m laughing.
I’m mad.

I’m hot. I’m cold.
I’m up. I’m down.
Now change me again.
I’ve gifted you with some more brown.

What’s that? You have errands to do.
No problem. Let’s go.
In the car. Outta the car.
I promise you, we won’t get far.

I’ll scream. I’ll smile.
I’ll sit still, but only for a little while.
You’re on my time now.
And peace of mind, I do not allow.

Read me a story.
Put me to bed.
Just kidding…
I’m messing with your head.

Ok. Fine. I’m asleep in my crib.
Just remember, you have no power.
So don’t bother relaxing.
Cause I’ll be up in another hour.

My gift to you this Father’s Day,
Is quality time… just me and you.
So you can truly see what Mommy goes through.

By the end of the day, you might wish
That you’d worn protection.
Or drank enough wine,
To lose that erection.

But you wouldn’t have me.
Good times and bad,
We are better as three.

So for an entire day… just father and son.
We’ll laugh. We’ll cry.
We’ll poo. We’ll play.
Really making it Mother’s Day!

(You’re welcome, Mommy!)

Love,

Your Little Orange Crush

4 thoughts on “50 Shades of Baby… Just in time for Father’s Day!

  1. This is FANTASTIC!!!! Definitely one of your best yet! I read it three times I loved it! Plus it is EXACTLY true!!

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