SHARE WITH ANY “GOOD” MOMS YOU KNOW –
A few years ago I got a Mother’s Day card that read “you are a good mom”. To be honest, I was somewhat taken aback. I’m a “good” mom? Not a great mom? Not an amazing mom? Not a super mom? Nope. Just a good one.
But it made me think… maybe I am JUST a good mom. And maybe I’m good with being good. Because really, being “amazing” is impossible. In today’s ever-competitive world of mothering, we try to support one another with the reassurance that we are all “amazing” moms. But really, we’re just putting unfair pressure on a “job” that already comes with so much pressure, fear, and stress, and let’s be honest… competition.
I am not a perfect mom. I am not an amazing mom. I am not a super mom.
When my kids pee the bed in the middle of the night, do I sometimes just shove a towel under them, and will deal with it in the morning? Yup, maybe.
When I’m so tired by the end of the day and my kids are being little bedtime pricks, do I sometimes skip teeth brushing so I can finally relax? Yup, maybe.
When I have zero ounces of fucks to give, do I sometimes skip the organic, chemistry-free meal, and go straight for the KD or McDrive Thru? Yup, maybe.
Do I sometimes let my kids sleep with me regardless of the “expert” theorists who say I’m raising dependent nut cases? Yup, maybe.
Do I sometimes feed my baby *gulp* formula instead of boob juice on those nights when I just need to pour 300 glasses of wine down my throat? Yup, maybe.
Do I sometimes sit my kids in front of the TV for longer than the recommended 4.2 minutes per day, so that I can drink my coffee uninterrupted? Yup, maybe.
Do I sometimes spend hours Pinterest’ing sensory bin shit, crafty shit, and healthy recipes that I’ll present in the shape of a tractor, only to tell them to go find something (anything!) to play with, so I can ignore them to creep people out on socia media? Yup, maybe.
As moms, we need to take one good, long, hard look in the mirror and finally, FINALLY, see ourselves for who we are… Human. We are good, but we are not perfect… not even close. But I guarantee you, to our kids, we are more than good enough. We are everything.
Because do we give them unconditional love? Yup. Do we laugh until our tummies hurt? Yup. Do we put them to bed every night feeling safe and loved? Yup. Do we try to instill in them empathy and compassion with the hopes they will grow to be Good People? Yup. Do we sometimes let them fail to teach them this world can be harsh and they can’t always have it their way? Yup. Do we teach them daily to be independent so they can one day spread their wings and soar in a world where we are not always there to help? Yup. We give them what matters most.
Amazing? No. Perfect? No. But we are damn good moms. So maybe, just maybe, we need to start setting more realistic expectations for ourselves, and eachother. We need to stop pretending, and put this whole notion of perfection behind us. Because it doesn’t exist. We all know it… we just have to be willing to admit it outwardly.
Because maybe being “just” a good mom, is really good enough.