As a mom, I know I have a lot to learn. Because being a mother comes with a steep learning curve. But in the short time that I’ve enjoyed the title of “Mom”, I have learned this: As amazing as it is, being a mom is not always easy, for any of us. At some point, we all struggle. But while our struggles may look different, we all have one BIG commonality… and that’s love for our children. A fierce, stupid love. A love that at times is suffocating, and debilitating, and overwhelming, and lonely, and scary, but mostly beautifully f-ing awesome!

A mother’s love knows no bounds. Errr, well, maybe with exception to the toddler and teen years. But no matter how tired, frustrated or defeated we feel, we push on.  Day in, day out. 24/7. Rain or shine!

That said, since becoming a mother myself, and in part because of the feedback I get from this very blog, I am always surprised by how hard we mothers can be on eachother. Sadly, we can be very judgemental toward one another.  Whether we had vaginal or c-section births, breast or bottle, co-sleeping or cribbin’ it, working or at home… we sometimes throw shade at one another. I think our own insecurities as mothers get the better of us and we turn it outward, lashing out at other fellow moms. There is a constant pressure put on us by society, and expectations set by our families. We are pulled in every direction, trying to do things “the right way”.  So when we see a mom doing it “that way” (which, by the way, doesn’t make it the “right way”… just the right way for HER) we get defensive. If only we projected the same sense of acceptance we have for our children onto our fellow moms… Imagine the power.

So whether it be Mother’s Day, or everyday, I want to give a shout out to ALL mothers… no matter the struggle… we are one.

TO THE MOMS WHO HAD VAGINAL OR C-SECTION BIRTHS: It’s about the journey, not the destination of arrival. You loved, carried and gave life to a healthy beautiful baby. Period. Happy Mother’s Day.

TO THE MOMS WHO HAVE ADOPTED OR USED A SURROGATE: Your child may not have grown under your heart, but IN it. A mother’s love is not defined by blood. Happy Mother’s Day.

TO THE MOMS WHO HAVE HAD SUCCESSFUL IVF BABIES: When the body and science come together, they produce one powerful seed… and from it is born the most precious miracle. Happy Mother’s Day.

TO THE MOMS WHO FOSTER CHILDREN: Every child needs an angel, and that angel is YOU. Every child derserves a loving home, and you are that home. One of the most selfless acts any human could give. I bow down to you. Happy Mother’s Day.

TO THE MOMS WHO HAVE CHILDREN WITH ANY TYPE OF SPECIAL NEED: No diagnosis can ever change one’s love for their child. In fact, I think it makes for a special love and an even more special family.  Happy Mother’s Day.

TO THE MOMS OF SINGLETONS, MULTIPLE CHILDREN, TWINS, TRIPLETS, PLUS: No matter the number, they all come with their own challenges. You are doing your best with what you have. Happy Mother’s Day.

TO THE MOMS PARTNERED WITH ANOTHER MOM, AND THE “MOMS” WHO ARE MEN: An X and Y chromosome does not make a home. Love does. And every person deserves to feel this kind of love. Gender makes no difference to a child, nor should it to society. Happy Mother’s Day.

TO ALL THE SINGLE MOMS: It is twice the work for you. It is also twice the love for you. Twice the hugs. Twice the kisses. A child doesn’t necessarily need two parents, but the best parent. Happy Mother’s Day.

TO THE MOMS WHO ARE DESPERATELY TRYING TO CONCEIVE: Think positive (  || ). Think someday. As Cinderella said, ” Even miracles take time”. They are already in your heart, next stop your womb. Happy Mother’s Day.

TO THE STEP-MOMS OUT THERE: You made a promise to love another’s child as your own. Honour. There is never enough love to go around. Happy Mother’s Day.

TO THOSE WHO HAVE LOST THEIR MOM:  No matter your age, no matter the time that has passed… you lost an extention of yourself. A vital limb. The brain has an amazing way of storing memories. Remember. Smile. Happy Mother’s Day.

AND MOSTLY…

TO THE MOMS WHO HAVE LOST A CHILD: No one deserves to be recognized more than a mother who has had to give her baby back. And no time or space will ever change the fact that you are a mom, always. Happy Mother’s Day.

When it comes to motherhood, the lyrics “We’re ONE, but we’re not the same…” (by a wee little band known as U2) come to mind.  We are all our own beautiful beings, simply doing our best to raise our children. We all have the same end goal, we’re simply exploring different avenues to get there.

It’s no different than how we raise our children. We encourage them to be their true selves. To dare to be different. To not always conform to societal expectations and pressures. To think outside the box. Why not encourage other mothers to do the same… without judgement. Imagine the power!

Happy Mother’s Day to ALL moms… to my mom… to my mother-in-law for raising my Big J, and to U2.

ONE LOVE.

Cheers, Red Whino

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